The Fourth of July is one of those holidays that brings everyone together for one reason: freedom. Whether it’s the smell of meat on the grill, fireworks lighting up the sky, or getting way too competitive in a backyard cornhole game, this is peak summer energy. But not all traditions and activities are created equal. That’s why we’re dropping the official Foolieo Fourth of July Power Rankings — the definitive list of what makes this holiday legendary.
So grab a plate of ribs, crack open something cold, and let’s rank the icons of Independence Day
10. Wearing an American Flag Outfit (Drip or Drown Edition)
There’s no such thing as too much red, white, and blue on the Fourth. Flag tank top? Fire. Stars-and-stripes shorts? Required. Bonus points for mirrored sunglasses and cowboy boots. It’s the one day a year you can dress like a walking Budweiser can and no one will judge you.
Foolieo Score: 7/10 for effort, 10/10 if you go full ’Merica.
9. The Classic Backyard BBQ
Nothing screams freedom like the sizzle of burgers, hot dogs, ribs, and corn on the cob. Whether you’re working the grill like Bobby Flay or just posted up waiting for someone to pass you a plate, this is a non-negotiable part of the day. The real debate? Ketchup on hot dogs — yes or war crime?
Foolieo Score: 9/10 (deducted one point for that guy who brings a salad).
8. Drunk Uncle Falling Asleep in a Lawn Chair
You know the one. He’s been double-fisting Coors since 10 AM, gave a long-winded toast nobody asked for, and now he’s snoring in the corner of the yard with a flag in his lap. A true American hero.
Foolieo Score: 10/10 for comic relief and consistency.
7. Watching “Independence Day” Again Like It’s a New Release
Will Smith punching aliens and yelling “Welcome to Earth” never gets old. Neither does that legendary presidential speech. This movie is a Fourth of July tradition — and a solid warm-up before the real fireworks.
Foolieo Score: 8.5/10 (only because you’ve seen it 37 times).
6. Cornhole — The Backyard Olympics
If you’ve never almost ended a friendship over a cornhole game, do you even celebrate the 4th? Backyard games are elite this time of year, but cornhole reigns supreme. Trash talk encouraged. Cold drinks required.
Foolieo Score: 9.5/10 (only loses points when someone says “I used to play pro”).
5. Call of Duty on the Big Screen
Once the sun goes down and the grill’s off, the real competition starts. Call of Duty is basically the virtual fireworks show — loud, chaotic, and full of freedom. Whether you’re running Nuketown or sniping in Warzone, it’s the most patriotic way to cap the night.
Foolieo Score: 10/10 when the whole squad’s online.
4. Dodging Fireworks in the Street
We’re not endorsing illegal fireworks… but let’s be honest, everyone knows a guy. The 4th is the one night suburban neighborhoods turn into “Fast & Furious: Firework Drift.” Watching Roman candles fly the wrong direction is either terrifying or hilarious depending on how close you’re standing.
Foolieo Score: 10/10 for adrenaline, 1/10 for safety.
3. Fireworks Grand Finale That Makes You Feel 12 Again
You’ve been waiting all day for this. That final 60-second chaos of lights, smoke, and sound that makes you forget about gas prices and just say, “Damn, that’s America.” If you don’t say “Oooooh” or “Aaaaah” at least once, are you even human?
Foolieo Score: 11/10. Explosions + patriotism = perfection.
2. Ice-Cold Beers (or Sodas) with the Crew
The real MVP of the day. Whether you’re sipping a domestic brew, rocking a Solo cup, or crushing sparkling water like a legend, this is about vibes. Just you, the homies, and something cold in your hand while the smell of BBQ hits your nostrils. Doesn’t get more American than that.
Foolieo Score: 12/10 with good company and good tunes.
1. That One Friend Who Brings the Chaos
Every group has them. They show up late, dressed like Hulk Hogan, blast “Born in the USA” from a Bluetooth speaker, and somehow convince everyone to shotgun a beer before the first burger’s even flipped. By the end of the night, they’ve got a Roman candle in one hand and a hot dog in the other yelling “FREEDOM!” from the roof.
They’re dangerous. They’re ridiculous. They’re legendary.
Foolieo Score: 100/10. This person is the Fourth of July.
Honorable Mentions:
American flag Jell-O shots Sparklers for the ‘gram “USA! USA!” chants for no reason Listening to “Party in the USA” unironically Absolutely demolishing a Costco apple pie
Final Thoughts:
The Fourth of July is a beautiful mix of chaos, cookouts, questionable choices, and undeniable vibes. It’s a day where everyone hits pause, turns up the volume, and remembers what it means to just have fun. Whether you’re gaming, grilling, or just enjoying the fireworks — celebrate it Foolieo style.
Stay safe. Stay full. Stay free.
Happy 4th, ya animals. 🇺🇸